Jenny’s Journey: Following The Love In My Heart & Trusting The Beach Is Leading Me Somewhere Even Better.
My Twin Flame is constantly posting beach scenes that look so much like the beach where I was living. It feels like God is finally showing me in some way that somewhere deep down he actually does desire to come live at the beach with me. Only I don’t live at the beach anymore.
Our relationship looks like friends of a sort now. With hard boundaries where we don’t talk about anything but the task or game or activity we are engaged in together. The last thing he said to me personally was that he didn’t want any kind of relationship with me at all and not to contact him. I honor his boundaries and God still provided a space for us to interact that is a fun and easy way to get accustomed with each other and the mirror.
This wasn’t always the case. Once I realized he was my Twin Flame, the inner work had brought us together into common spaces where we would see each other more days than not every single week. We would both giggle and smile when we got on the video calls as I looked at his beautiful face, feeling that blossoming Twin Flame desire I have only ever felt for him. Every time I asked God for a way to have private coaching sessions together, one of the group spaces we shared would always turn up just me and him and our coaches that week.
I miss those days when even on the outside it looked like we were becoming more and more a part of each other’s lives. Which is how it felt for me on the inside too.
This was when I moved to the beach. All signs were GO. I was even moving through Wedding themed healing. The beach was the perfect place that had everything we would need to ground and learn how to live together. Plenty of space and beauty. A gorgeous pool and stunning ocean. I had a beautiful place and a pot of money to help get us started while we figured out how to move forward in our life together.
Only it didn’t work out that way. He did not come to live with me.
I was able to hold the space at the beach on my own for 17 months. It was never meant to be a permanent space. It was the gift of a jump start that I could provide for us. It was a leap of faith that didn’t pan out the way it was intended. It was never the wrong thing to do, because it was done in truly loving and guided intentions. This is how the Twin Flame journey goes sometimes. You follow the love in your heart, and you follow God, and you get the lessons and experience and healing God has for you. Even when it doesn’t turn out to be the outcome you thought it would be or hoped it would be, it always brings you closer to your Twin Flame and teaches you more love. You have to keep going and keep healing in order to understand how.
The lessons in these kinds of situations will always be perfect. The lesson for me here is that there is no part of my old life that I can take with me into my life together with my Twin Flame. I tried to use the temporary fruits of a career earned with sacrifice and suffering to bankroll a temporary space to sort out our permanent physical union together, and it didn’t work. I no longer have a jump start to offer us. All I can bring is all that I am. And I am enough.
I failed at starting our life living together twice so far. That just means there is more healing to do. It means God has a different way for us, that will undoubtedly be even better for our union. The feelings are very difficult to move through at times. I have the Mirror Exercise, so I have everything I need to keep healing our consciousness and our union.
The good news is some of the key people in my life, including our coaches, who were previously unsupportive are now able to see that we truly have something there between me and my Twin Flame. After these 17 months more support is starting to come around, and trust is slowly rebuilding in these relationships.
The most insane seeming and amazing thing about this journey is that the love I have for my Twin Flame is actually exponentially stronger and deeper than I felt at the start of this failed adventure. So it never actually failed at all. I am more sure now than ever that he is my true Twin Flame, and we will inevitably live together permanently. This sense of love and clarity I’ve gained is worth every minute of the really dark and difficult times. My persistence and devotion are stronger and the tests of my devotion are getting more manageable as I go.
This show is not over. With your true Twin Flame, the show never ends. The love always only ever grows.